Best Seat in the House

Sometimes life hands you the funniest things. I got on my flight to Phoenix the other day and it was a FULL Flight. I knew I had an aisle and I hoped that, just possibly, the middle seat would not be full.

I hate it when you have to do that little battle over the arm rest between you and the person in that middle seat. You want to use it and they want to use it and neither of you are really comfortable using it knowing that the other person really wants to use it.

Well, my fears of having to share that armrest were the least of my worries. To my disappointment, there was someone sitting in the middle seat. At first glance I wasn’t sure if it was someone or some ones, plural. The guy sitting in the middle seat was big. Who am I kidding? That guy was huge! GIGANTIC!

I quickly realized that there would be no battle over the armrest. The Stay-Puff Marshmallow Man’s fat rolls got to use the armrest. I was lucky to have the armrest on my left side as big as this guy was. Trust me, I am a man of size but I looked tiny next to this guy. Could this flight get any worse?

YES! YES IT COULD!!

Sitting right behind me was a family with two small children. The infant was good the entire flight. The DEMON Toddler was not as pleasant. This kid wanted to talk the entire flight and until his ears popped he talked as loud as a senior citizen, whose batteries went bad on their hearing aid, trying to whisper at a funeral. “MINE!” was about all the selfish little spawn of satan could say at the top of his lungs.

Just in case you want to know, you can get to meet an Air Marshal if you stand up, turn around and threaten to mame a small devil child on an airplane.