Things to do Thanksgiving Day to be excused early

THINGS TO DO THANKSGIVING DAY IF YOU WANT TO BE EXCUSED EARLY

1. Announce that you would like to start a new family tradition, and proceed to take off your shirt (males only), shoes and socks at the dinner table.
2. Open the oven, shove hunks of velveeta into the turkey while it cooks. Tell mom it adds the coolest flavor.
3. Whenever someone at the table says a word beginning with the letter R, make a loud "BUZZ"ing noise.
4. Bring along old recorded football games, pop them in the VCR when Dad's not looking.
5. Suck your cranberry sauce loudly through a straw.
6. Hold your nose while you eat.
7. Recite the tragic and abusive conditions known to exist at turkey farms.
8. At mid-meal turn to mom and say, "See Mom, I told you they wouldn't notice, you were worried for nothing."
9. Load your plate up high, then take it to the kitchen, toss it all in the blender, and take your "shake" back to the table. Announce that you've got a new fear of choking.
10. When you arrive, promise that your date won't be more than an hour late, he/she just has to wait for the warden to get together all the necessary release forms, and then they are free to go.

Help Support Our Troops this Christmas

You can help gather letters and drawings to encourage our troops for the Holidays.
These patriotic holiday stockings are filled with items that have been donated from various sources. The recruits receive phone cards, envelopes, stamps, note pads, and pens. But the important gift in this stocking is a bundle of letters that we collect from children all over the country. Last year each recruit had 12 letters in their stocking. That's over 8,000 letters!
Would you please help by collecting letters and/or drawings from children of all ages? The subject can be patriotic, holiday wishes, or even a simple thank you for serving our county. It can be from schools, Sunday schools, clubs, and just your own kids. (Adults can send letters, too.)
You can also forward this message to others you think might be willing to participate.
Maybe your school, church or organization can make this a holiday project? Following are simple guidelines for the letters:
- Notes, letter, pictures and cards accepted.- Salutation should be "Dear Recruit"- Send all the letters/drawings in one package to an address below.- NO personal return addresses.- Mark the back of each note with a classroom sticker or stamp with the organization's address, if they desire possible responses from recruits.
Please mail your letters to arrive by Friday, November 20, 2007 to the address closest to you:
Marine Christmas Letter Projectc/o The Averys2403 West Sunnyside AveVisalia CA 93277
Marine Christmas Letter Projectc/o Martha PhilippsRt 6 Box 200Bloomfield IN 47424
Marine Christmas Letter Projectc/o Debra Collins11 Glen DriveThorsby AL 35171
Thanks in advance for your support of our project. We can make the Christmas season just a little better for these recruits, who SO desire to serve our country.

School Awards Given

My son’s school had award ceremony today. They give out awards for attendance. You showed up, here’s your award! You are dumb as a box of rocks but you are great at showing up!

Then they gave out the "Most Improved" award. You were stupid when you got here but now you can at least spell your name. Good job BOB!

I thought it was a bit much when the gave out the "Best Deer Hunter" Award. I am not sure a First grader should be using high powered fire arms.

The Words We Use to Confuse:

If someone is walking in a very carefree manner we might say they are “Nonchalant.” Does that mean if a person is in a frenzy and in a crazy hurry they are “Chalant”?

If a person is unhappy with their situation and they complain and argue with people they will be described as “Disgruntled.” Does that mean that people that get along with everyone are “Gruntled”?

When a person has a quick wit and snappy replies people will call them a “Smart Aleck.” Does that mean that all those people who are not as quick in the reply are “Dumb Alecks”?

These are just a few items in our language that bounce around the back of my empty head from time to time.

One of Those Years

Last week was one of those years. It was a typical week to start out but it changed quickly. You probably know what I am talking about when I say it was one of those years. You know, when you feel like every time you turn around something is going wrong.

Mine started going bad when a training I was doing went longer then it was suppose to so I was running late to an appointment. I was flying down the highway to my next meeting; trying to make up time and we all know that you can not make up time.

Out of nowhere, a big dog came up out of the ditch and ran right out in front of my car. I am not talking about a Marmaduke Great Dane but it was a big dog. A Lab/Mutt mix that was big enough to take out the front left corner of a Mustang.

I couldn’t swerve into the other lane because there was a car coming from the other direction. I couldn’t swerve the other direction because there was a ditch that was sending a clear message, “If you must crash, crash here! We must protect our field.”

I couldn’t avoid it. I hit the dog and watched in my mirror as it rolled out from under my car and bounced into the deep ditch. I stopped to see if the dog was suffering and discovered that it had already crossed over to doggy heaven.

I was feeling pretty low. The dog had a collar so I know it was someone’s pet. However, it did not have tags so I know they didn’t care that much.

Later that evening I discovered that the Old Yeller had damaged the car I was driving. The good news is, I was driving a rental car. The bad news is I did not have their insurance. I was driving like I had their insurance.

The next day I woke up with some new symptoms from my MS. The left side of my tongue and the corner of my mouth were numb and tingly. It felt like I had been to the dentist and the Novocain was wearing off.

The next day my wife came home from the mall (no she had not spent a bunch of money) and she informed me that she had backed into a car that was backing out of another spot as she was backing out of the spot where she had parked. Not much damage to her car but a little dent in the door of the other car.

Man! What a week! Even though the week was full of negative events I know God is large and in charge. These little events are like speed bumps on the road of life. They slow us down a bit but do not impede our journey. God is greater!

The Angel's Have a New Piano Player

I just read the news that Roger Bennett went home to Heaven. I met Roger once a number of years ago when I was managing a radio station in Wrightsville, GA. He was an amazing piano player and singer. He was playing for the Cathedral Quartet and was as humble as any man I have met. His ministry was full of grace.

My heart is sad with the news yet celebrates that Roger battle with Leukemia is over and Heaven is singing some amazing Southern Gospel tunes right about now. I can imagine Glenn and George meeting Roger at the gates of Glory saying, "What took you so long? Anthony Burger's been here for awhile. Come on, let's sing about God's greatness and worship Him for a few thousand years."

Remember Roger's family and friends in your prayers. I know they would be grateful.

Finding Motivation

I think opportunity came knocking and I didn’t hear it because I was listening to my motivational tapes.

You don’t have to go very far today to find books or tapes to help motivate you. There seems to be a never ending supply of these tapes and it got me to thinking. Are there motivational tapes for everyone?

What type of motivational tapes would a bus driver listen to? The Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round?

What would the stay at home – home schooling Dad listen to? Pink Floyd singing, “We Don’t Need No Education”?

How about the Kleptomaniac? Do they really need any help getting what they want? 10 Easy Steps to Steal Your Rich Friend's Identity.

These are the things that keep me awake at night.